I think my vagina is haunted
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
