Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
