that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
