tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
