let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
