Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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