Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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