so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
