It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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