And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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