there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
