if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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