Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
