i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
