the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize