I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
