I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
