3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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