Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize