I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
