Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
