alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
