i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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