I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think your dad took our porno
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
