i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome