Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
