I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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