Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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