I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
