wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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