It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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