Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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