Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize