I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
