last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dicks are not precious.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
