even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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