ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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