She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
