So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
