the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
