Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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