The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
this just has baby written all over it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
