god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
