i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize