I wish I only lived at night.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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