i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
