it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Floor bacon is actually really good
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
