Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
