great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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