im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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