i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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