Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
