When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
