Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just blew my weed a kiss
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
