The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
