just tell him i said nine months
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
