i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
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Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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