She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
