Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
