help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
