You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
