I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
