my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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