I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.