she woke up with a sticky ear
Banned from zoo.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.