I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out