i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
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So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
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In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.